top of page

Embracing Your Authentic Self With The Power of Mindful Communication

For those looking to enhance their communication skills in dealing with relationship issues, this blog will delve into the application of the Five Personality Types from Taoist Philosophy to help you maintain authenticity in all your interactions. Throughout history, humans have faced challenges in relationships, leading to feelings of disempowerment when unable to resolve issues effectively. By embracing the Taoist concepts of the Five Personality Types, you can practice mindful communication reducing feelings of being provoked, alienated, defensive, blaming, or even despondent as a result of relationship struggles.

Is it possible for something that is 5000 years old to truly help with the challenges of our modern society?

Couple on a bike

Applying Taoism to Modern Day Relationships

Mastering the art of mindfulness in communication utilizes an ancient system of translating energy that can still be applied to our modern world today. Our ancient ancestors hold the key to unlocking and recalling how to exist in harmony in our relationships. Yet, the psychological challenges we face now, differ significantly from those endured by our ancestors. No matter the time we are in, essential basic needs continue to be the core of every individual. When these basic needs are not fulfilled, it leads to discord, tension, and conflict.

Five millennia ago, the Taoist Philosophers brought attention to these fundamental needs by utilizing the Five Elements present in all living beings to develop a genuine comprehension of our individualized characteristics. This approach aimed to consciously establish harmony and equilibrium across various aspects such as health, agriculture, politics, architecture, fashion, parenting, and relationships.

By following the Five Elements, they established a framework to cultivate a mindful relationship with all aspects of life. With these core principles integrated into their culture, their community flourished harmoniously for over two thousand years. Today, we have the opportunity to revive this balance and incorporate it into the practice of conscious communication, enabling us to be more genuine in our interactions and connections. In the end, we will come to understand that every person has fundamental needs that must be fulfilled to achieve inner peace and maintain harmonious relationships.

Irrespective of the period in human history, each person is naturally influenced by five elements to satisfy their five basic needs. Recognizing how to understand the energy conveyed by an individual is essential, as it is shaped by their needs. This understanding provides us with a valuable understanding of the relationship dynamics and empowers us to navigate it successfully.

The Five Basic Needs of the Five Personality Types

Fire - To feel love and connection

Earth - To have a sense of security and home

Metal - To be valued and respected

Water - To feel freedom in a safe existence

Wood - To feel encouraged to grow, express, and contribute

The Five Elements are Medicine

The Five Personality Types of the Five Elements

The Five Element personality types can be applied to understand the individuals in our lives, whether they are people or animals. By recognizing how each element manifests through emotions and unique characteristics, we can establish connections that promote mutual acceptance.

For adults, the elements can be employed to interpret the nonverbal cues of children or pets. Colleagues bring different skills and challenges to the workplace. Utilizing the Five Element Personality Types enables you to delegate tasks that align with your coworker's attributes. Understanding the elemental expressions' requirements, motivations, and stressors can help resolve conflicts.

We have the opportunity to embrace a new perspective on learning how to live together, communicate effectively, and understand each other differently. This change enables us to address challenges and conflicts and disrupt the cycle of problems in our relationships. Utilize the Elements to navigate all types of relationships!


Wood - The Visionary


Holds the blueprint for our authentic expression

Flexibility helps wood find another way

The Energy of Wood expresses itself most in the Spring when the seeds are swelling with potential. This springtime lifeforce burgeons from the ground, the seeds, the swelling buds, the hatching chicks, and inside us. We feel compelled to move, get things cleaned out, get active, and figure out the plan of action for the months to come. The energy of wood carries the vision of our potential wanting to burst forth like a seed. 

A seed doesn't need permission to grow. Yet, in this society, we are raising many seeds with our own ideas of how they need to grow. What if everything they needed to offer on this planet was held right inside, waiting to sprout? What if it was our job as New Earth Parents and Guides to help that vision blossom? 

Wood Children, Pets, and Coworkers alike need to have the freedom to express their visions. They need guidance to see other points of view. Sometimes they will get fixated on the right way of doing things and lose sight of the bigger picture. Sometimes all they can only see is the bigger picture and lose sight of the steps necessary to march onward.  

Wood Energy is action energy. How we direct that energy matters to the overall balance and health of our wood element within.

Fire - The Peacekeeper


The Ruler of Your Heart

Fire connects as we all gather around it

Are you ready to have a good time? Fire Types love to have fun, laugh, play, dance, and be silly. They will seek it in every avenue of their life. They are the ones that make parties that much more special. Full of warmth and compassion, a Fire seeks to be friends with everyone they meet. They are natural diplomats, putting their foot in conflict to keep the peace. Their hearts, however, are sensitive, and if a Fire has a threat to their heart, everything changes. They can move from a beautiful glowing fire to a raging wildfire out of control. Tempers, anxiety, and lashing out can take over a Fire when they feel their love is threatened. 

Fire types need to feel safe in their relationships. Since they are the most important thing to them, they can shut down and guard their hearts under high security if their relationships are threatened. Keeping the Fires stoked is important to make sure their fires don't go out. Depression, sadness, and isolation will result in an exiled heart. Sometimes our world tells a bubbly fire that they are being inappropriate. Laughing at a funeral is an example. Sometimes it's hard to contain all that energy, so inappropriate remarks are common for Fire kids, pets, and coworkers alike.    

The spirit of the Heart is ruled by the Fire Element. Keeping our fires stoked with love, joy, and play is imperative to continue to see positivity, passion, and connection in our lives. As the ruler of the heart, without a healthy fire, we cannot extend or express what we are called to do in the world. 

Earth - The Caretaker

Late Summer

The Holder of Your Emotions

Earth beneath the worry are unmet needs

The Earth Personality Type seeks safety, comfort, security, and satisfaction. This type desires well-being for themselves and those around them. They are the caretakers of the world - healthcare workers, teachers, mothers, caregivers, and comforters who provide reassurance. Many of us feel grounded in their presence. We innately turn to the Earth Personality type for support because when they are balanced it feels limitless.

When Earth is imbalanced, however, it's akin to an earthquake, where nothing feels secure or stable as emotions may erupt when their needs are unmet. Maintaining a consistent routine, establishing healthy boundaries, and consuming nourishing food can help Earth types regain stability. It is crucial to offer them support as well, as they often overlook their own unmet needs due to their focus on others.

Earth personalities are deeply concerned about global issues and may lose sleep over them. Offering empathy and encouragement can validate their worries and guide them back to their balanced selves.

A child may seem to have never-ending demands, a pet might be overly focused on food, their owner, or their resting place. In a professional setting, such an individual will be the one to provide treats, ensure the office temperature is pleasant for all, and frequently raise concerns that can make them appear like a constant complainer.

Metal - Perfection


The Standard of Your Expression

Metal Element let go of perfection

In the quality control department of the Elemental world, Metal types possess the ability to distinguish between trash and treasures, recognize the value in any circumstance, and detect even the smallest errors or missteps. They view life through the prisms of beauty, perfection, and harmony. The Metal element enables us to appreciate the significance and merit of every situation. With a refined Metal element within us, life doesn't appear as dull and blemished. However, external factors such as societal expectations, negative feedback, or perceived setbacks can diminish the brilliant characteristics of the Metal element. Low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy have the potential to cloud a Metal's perspective. 

Establishing a sanctuary can enhance the refinement of a Metal individual. Developing the ability to adjust inaccurate perceptions to recognize true value is a crucial skill for someone of the Metal type, enabling them to differentiate between what holds worth and what does not. At times, individuals of the Metal type may require assistance in recognizing their own value and significance. It is essential for them to experience a sense of respect and be viewed as composed. Otherwise, feelings of disrespect, judgment, or disregard may start to overwhelm their emotional state.

Metal needs to know they matter more than any other element. They need to see their worth through the world around them. Holding on to sentimental treasures is a sign of reverence. Therefore, letting go of objects, emotions, people, or experiences is a challenge. 

A child will cling to their toy, a dog, their bone, and a coworker might cling to a grievance that long would have been resolved. Metal naturally has a hard time letting go. When we know this about the Metal types in our lives, we can have more compassion for their unique nature. 

Water - The Intuitive


The Memory Keeper

Water types, akin to the vast ocean, move rhythmically, flowing and receding like the tides. Their profound nature is beyond reach for many, and they can surge with ideas, perception, creativity, and powerful energy to bring about change. The inner reservoir of water types harbors the intuitive wisdom inherent in all of us. Their depth and ingenuity drive them towards learning and inquisitiveness.

Stressors will cause a Water-type to either be reactionary, or ready to face the fear head-on. Or they will freeze, run, hide, or play dead. They are very handy to have around in an emergency because fear and courage rule the emotions of water. They've got what it takes to persevere and face danger head-on. 

Rescue workers and firefighters are examples of the water element summoning the courage to face the seemingly impossible. A dog that smells cancer, or plunges through freezing water to save someone, or the cat that just wants to know everything you are doing is the water type that feels everything. They are naturally intuitive and need to use their internal knowledge to feel balanced. 

Late nights, over-ambition, chronic stress, or drama will dry up our waters causing fatigue and exhaustion. Water coworkers are often the ones who get sick after a big project has finished because they've used up too much water to make it happen. 

Let that little one around you keep flowing with thoughts, ideas, questions, and curiosities.  They've got seeds waiting to swell with ideas for our reimagined earth. Help them sprout!

Mindful Communication could be viewed as a Martial Art

When the Elements are balanced, each one takes care of the next. We need all the elements working in harmony within ourselves to feel like we have direction, love, support, value, and courage. When one element gets out of balance it sends a cascading reaction to the rest of them. The trick is unraveling the root of where the imbalance started. When you know what Element is being emotionally activated, you can use ancient skills to help balance the energy.

Think of it as a type of martial arts for communication.

Understanding the subtle nuances of these personality types so that you can effectively harmonize the energy in a relationship is an art. Give the wrong elemental energy and that is how we discover things get heated. Give the right energy and it opens up towards healing, revealing, growth, and clearing.

Looking at relationships from a fundamental standpoint provides us with a method to communicate thoughtfully. This marks the initial stage of what our Taoist Philosophers identified in the practice of Mindful Communication. By incorporating the Five Personality Types and following ten distinct steps, you can become proficient in the skill of communication. This will lead to enhanced perception, empathy, and tolerance towards others. You will experience a greater sense of composure and non-reactivity within yourself. Furthermore, you will be self-assured in expressing your needs as you excel in the practice of mindful communication.


For further information, explore the Art of Mindful Communication program. This online course delves into the Five Personality Types, offers abundant downloadable resources including a complimentary E-book, and provides ten clear steps to enhance your communication skills and navigate relationships effectively like a skilled communicator.


bottom of page