I went to a dance last night. As I was shaking my hips, stomping my feet, swinging my arms in delight I couldn’t help but to be reminded of how far I have come on my journey with Lyme disease. A few years ago I couldn’t even walk to the kitchen without experiencing excruciating pain, dizziness, weakness, and a whole myriad of neurological symptoms. Having danced with death so many times, moments like on the dance floor fill me with immense gratitude and joy that I can move my body again. I’m a dancing miracle! And, I know that as in life that moment is fleeting, it will not last forever. So, each moment, for me, is precious. Every time I work in my garden, walk my dogs, or go on a new adventure I am reminded that I once couldn’t do such things. Making those experiences so precious. As the old Cinderella song goes….you don’t know what you’ve got until gone. How many of us have said to ourselves - when I am get through this ………… I am going to be so much better, stronger, more successful, happier, etc.? Suffering comes in many forms of perspective. What I have discovered in using Lyme disease as my teacher for over 27 years now, has been eye opening.
Repeatedly, I would set the intention of getting through some hardship thinking I’ll come out on the other end completely exonerated of my suffering. Embodying the phoenix rising from the ashes too many times to count, I noticed a pattern within myself. I was putting a condition upon my healing journey…no healing saga! I discovered that I was somehow making a deal with God – if I rise from the ashes, this time, you are going to give me a magnificent life and be healed completely of Lyme disease. I don’t think God ever signed that contract. It was this unsaid contract that was creating my suffering. When a new hardship fell into my lap, I’d hit such despair, feeling forsaken.
Somewhere on this journey to authentically follow my heart, I discovered a way of being and navigating life’s ups and downs from a new vantage point. Asking the important question: How can we shine our authentic light within regardless of the circumstances? I realized in the classroom of Lyme disease, that healing wasn’t about getting rid of the illness, it was about changing my perception about the suffering. I began to consciously explore everything inside of my body, mind, and spirit that was somehow not in alignment with my authentic self, my heart. My guides began to teach me through a storm, an owl, a whisper from a stranger passing by. Everything became a classroom into the world of consciously healing.
My journey with Lyme disease still continues with another surgery likely in the near future. At first I was angry. Very angry. That kind of anger where I was mad at God all over again. I’d lament to the heavens asking, “When are you going to cut my poor body a break?” Even though I had all the tools and lessons to live this authentic self, I realized I had put another condition upon my life path. That unsaid contract was if I made it through this healing crisis I’d somehow earn the ability to be free of any more suffering. Clearly, I hadn’t learned all that was necessary in the classroom of conscious healing. I was back to learning acceptance, peace, and surrender all over again.
We are only in this body for a blip of a second in the greater expansive awareness of our limitless selves. We will carry the energy we have learned in this lifetime into the other side, forever microchipped into our soul. What we learn, how we navigate and treat one another is far more valuable than what we think we need, what we perceive is missing, or how we thought things should have turned out. So what, I have dealt with Lyme disease. That is my story. I am sure you have a good one too. The story isn’t important, especially if it tells the story of suffering. I’d much rather tell a story of inspiration, vindication, growth, and perseverance. But I can’t do that until I have shifted my perspective. Each time we learn from our life lessons it gets us closer to our authentic self. In turn, if more and more of us take conscious healing to shine brightly our souls, this whole world will shift paradigms. Isn’t that what we all want for the next 7 generations? A society living authentically, in stewardship, acceptance, and an allowing for all of us to freely express and shine. Can you shine your light regardless of what is happening? Conscious Healing brings us to a place of humble servitude forever as the student learning the way to navigate our soul through this reality. It doesn’t matter what the life circumstance is, it is how we perceive the circumstance that brings a healing beyond the physical.
While on a sailboat communing with the beloved Humpback Whales, I realized that we cannot learn any lessons about our life’s journey until we have surrendered over the circumstance. The experience isn’t happening to us, but rather unfolding before us. We are that lotus flower that blossoms forever. Each petal another lesson and another and another. Conscious Healing does not have an outcome. It is a daily practice in every breath, until the last breath. We must daily assess what is in our hearts, what emotions need to be processed, tuning into our body to listen for what it needs, and exploring shifts of perspective with everything we encounter. Then, when we get triggered, angry at God about that unsaid contract, know you could blossom from the experience.
Nothing is permanent, all things will die and recycle continuously on this earth. A baby humpback whales skin cell could have been made from the material that was eaten by their mother. She could have swallowed one of my skin cells while swimming with them. My own cellular contents, broken down into the essence of carbon, oxygen, and hydrogen could have contributed to making a baby whale. When we have awakened to this interconnectedness, consciously choosing to be that lotus, forever learning, growing, improving, and allowing our life to be where it is – that is when we have healed in such a way that we can authentically listen to our hearts, make choices that are in alignment with our souls, and start to thrive. Healing doesn’t mean relieving the suffering, we have many stories to tell. Our life circumstances have the potential to become our greatest teacher.